


All Those Moments Should Be Lost In Time

by sillyboyblue



Category: Blade Runner (1982)
Genre: M/M, PTSD, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 10:16:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9379955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillyboyblue/pseuds/sillyboyblue
Summary: Roy is triggered by some bad news.





	

It was all over the news. The Tyrell Corporation had a new big boss. The man was no other than Clovis Tyrell, Eldon's nephew. Deckard was shocked. This man had brown hair and eyes, but otherwise he looked way too much like Roy. Speaking of Roy, the news were a disaster for him. Whenever Deckard tried to understand what upset him so, he pushed him away and refused to speak.

Eventually, in the evening, Roy grew tired of his mutism and sought Deckard's presence to comfort him. 

"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong ?"

They sat on the couch and held hands.

"I know this man."

It did not make sense to Deckard.

"What do you mean ?"

"I have memories from before my life. I was not supposed to have them. They either forgot to erase them or they chose not to. Either way, I can remember some moments... And I remember him."

Deckard wrapped his arms around Roy and held him close, rocking him slightly.

"I don't understand, why is it a concern to you ?"

Roy's breath grew uneven as he tried to organize the thoughts in his head. Finally he took a deep breath.

"He knows me. He knows I killed his uncle."

Deckard held Roy closer as he began to shake.

"He hates replicants."

"Then why would he keep working at the Corporation ?"

Roy's breath hitched in his throat and he nearly wept.

"To create more slaves. To send more soldiers to their death. To promise a life of nightmares to pleasure models."

Tears fell from Roy's eyes as he spoke and Deckard was helpless.

"I don't feel good, Rick..."

Deckard helped Roy lie down on the couch and invited him to rest his feet on his lap. 

"Okay, now try to breathe slowly."

Roy did his best, but he was still hyperventilating. Deckard wished he could help him better, but he did not know how.

"Look, breathe with me."

Deckard took deep, slow breaths and Roy did the same. But the tears kept coming. Deckard took Roy's hands in his and whispered :

"You're safe. No one's gonna find you. No one's gonna hurt you. I'll protect you. Do you believe me ?"

"I believe you."

Roy calmed down eventually.

"What happened ?" Deckard asked but Roy had no answer to his question.

"I kept seeing the same things..."

Deckard ran a hand through Roy's hair. It was a little damp with sweat.

"Bad things ?"

Roy nodded and bit his lower lip. He would rather not talk about it, but maybe sharing his experience with Deckard could help.

"Things from the war."

Roy wondered why, after so many years, this panic attack would only happen now.

"Have you heard of post-traumatic stress disorder ?"

He had, he read about it in books, but it should have happened right after he left the battlefield. Why only now ?

"I'm not sure," said Deckard, "but if it happens again..."

Roy did not want to speak anymore. He wanted to sleep. Forget about this damn war, forget about this damn Tyrell. For the first time he wished that his memory was not so good.


End file.
